Wednesday, November 30, 2016

"What the Hell is That on the Floor and Why are You Scratching Your Head?" A Mommy Experience

So I felt the need to write this quick blog post for many of you out there.
The groups that may be interested in this post are:
1. Those of you that are thinking of having kids at some point in the future
2.  Those of you with basically new kids that haven't done much but cry, eat, and poop so far.
3. Those of you that have not-so-new kids that can sympathize and laugh at the mishaps within.
4. Those of you with kids that are grown that have been there done that already.
5. Those of you with grandkids who are up to these types of shenanigans.
6.  Those of you that did not have kids of your own, to make you enjoy your peace and quiet a little more.

OH WAIT!  I have described every human on the planet, basically.
And of course, I love my girls and can't imagine life without them.
It is nights like these that I hit the pillow and wonder what the hell I am going to do when they are grown and gone out of the house... oh wait, then I will slowly become group 5 eventually....

SO, quick synopsis of the night last night in the Blammit household...

7:30am-4:30pm:  Work.  5th grade field trip at school.  Not too crazy, but sprinkled with chaos, as always

4:30pm:  Drove home.  Got home, checked on crock pot supper (Thanks husband for stirring during the day.)  Decided to go for a run on treadmill before supper.
---Todd at orthodontist with DD #3---

5:00- 30 minute run on treadmill (much rather be on the road outside, but got it done.)  Who knew I would need the power in the Pearl Jam, Godsmack, Incubus, and Disturbed that played during this time to get through the rest of the night?

5:30ish:  Suppertime  (Damn good chicken nachoes.. I could eat some more right now.)

Around this time as well:  Todd realized that Autumn had fixed herself a root beer float while I was on the treadmill, so there was something sticky covering half of the kitchen floor.  Decided to mop the kitchen-my absolute unfavorite chore in the whole house.. well besides plunging toilets...
(in retrospect, at least I didn't have to do THAT last night!)

6:00-7:00:  Fold 4 loads of laundry while watching TV with the fam.  Try to get Autumn to think about supper (chicken nachoes are not her thing and she wasn't hungry when I ate).

**Around the same time:  I decided that I would try to get the white beans for tomorrow's supper cooked.  Yes, when you read all of this, you will realize this was a bad idea, because yes, I forgot about the beans, and the one time I sat down for 10 minutes, I smelled something burning, and yes it was the beans, and yes they were stuck to the bottom of the pot... this will come into play later...**

7:00ish:  While picking up kitchen towels, almost stepped in a line of cat poop from the kitchen to the living room... even though the dog door was open as was the garage door to outside for them to get out.  The guilty cat in question was no where to be found to put outside, of course.  Took it out on the cat that was there and put him outside.  Not sure what that solved.

--Todd getting Autie to eat supper--

7:30ish:  After Autumn finally decided to eat, getting her to take a bath and needing one myself, thought I saw something in her hair, decided to check her long straight lice-loving hair.. needed more light so went in garage.  She is crying the whole time because NO, her head doesn't itch but YES, she is scared to miss school tomorrow.  At which point I told her she won't miss school because I can't miss, and we are going to take care of this.  So did I see something?  I am not sure but decide to treat her head anyway, which is another crying fit.  Then decide to treat my own head, just in case.  Which means then I have to throw her blankets and sheets and 5,000 stuffed animals in the dryer for at least 20 minutes on high to kill whatever might be lurking in there.  She gets out of tub, we douse her combed hair with rosemary and tea tree oil solution, cursing the very existence of lice.  (Someone please tell me why these bastards exist???)

***Side story:  This is the third time we go through this lice bit this school year.  Her hair is going to be in a bun from now until the end of the year, I swear.***

--Todd cleaning kitchen and checking on laundry at same time as me fighting the possible existence of weapons of mass destruction on Autumn's scalp--

8:00-8:30ish:  Autumn in bed finally, after getting her sheets and blankets from the dryer.  I come into the kitchen to make my bedtime tea and finally lay down, and I remember the pot of white beans.  I figure that they almost burned and they have been soaking in water for almost an hour, so they would be good to go down the garbage disposal, right??????
I shove them down in there, the sink gets stopped up and the garbage disposal stops.
I remember my days of this happening before... I remember something about a broomstick in the garbage disposal.  I remember a reset button on the bottom of the disposal.  I do all of that... the plunger is needed (didn't have to plunge a toilet, but I did plunge the kitchen sink).  After about 10 minutes messing with it, it was a success (at least)... I didn't have to wake up to a kitchen sink stopped up this morning.

It was a culminating feeling of exuberance, for sure.

SO, yes, this is where the story ends, as I head to bed with my tea, I lay down, and I think I read one page of my book before my eyes gave in.  And I slept like a freaking rock.. and did not wake up until my alarm went off at 5:30.

I can think of a million other things that could have happened that didn't last night.
And I am awake and the coffee is hot this morning...
And that's all I've got to say about that....